Last weekend, all of my kids and grandkids were in town at the same time. On Sunday, both sons and a daughter-in-law ran in the ING Marathon in Atlanta. We all stayed downtown at the Omni for the occasion.
Having them all together is a once-a-year event, if that. Watching the marathon was great fun, but the family thing — that was a treasure.
Kids are marvelous, fascinating creatures. But, as I watched my four granddaughters frolic and play, I was reminded that not all kids are smart, beautiful, healthy, well-adjusted, and well-behaved, as these four emphatically are.
Some kids are robust, some have health problems. Some are painfully cute, some are homely. Some are razor sharp, some are not.
For every child who grows up easy, another one grows up hard. That’s especially true in the teen years, the minefield years, for kid and parent alike.
My four girls have a long way to go, and I know there will be bumps in the road. But heredity and luck have given them a heck of a start. Seeing them right now in their glory is a wondrous thing.
Parenting is life’s toughest and most important job. And I, having already served that duty, have some special advice for all who follow and take up the mantle.
Call it Rocky’s Three Laws of Parenting.
The First Law: when parents fret about the future well-being of their children, that’s an indication the kids will turn out okay; when the parents don’t fret, that bodes ill for any child.
The Second Law: by the time the fretting begins, it’s probably too late anyway. The real work — the lessons and examples that children absorb from the adults around them — that happens early on.
The Third Law: you can’t fool a kid. No matter what you try to hide, or how hard you try to hide it, your children will see through you and know the truth.
One important corollary to the Third Law is that if you try to fool a child, the effort will not only fail, but also backfire and have negative consequences. It’s preordained.
If they see you cheat, or take unfair advantage, or tell a lie however small, they will remember it, and you will be diminished in their eyes. You won’t soon recover from the loss.
In their natural state, kids are highly ethical. Their radar for honesty is finely-tuned. Their sense of fairness is acute.
On Saturday, I withdrew a few plastic “gold coins” from my pocket and told the girls it was pirate treasure that I, always a very lucky guy, discovered on the street.
I said it melodramatically. They knew it was a joke.
But the three oldest girls wanted to know where I really got the coins. I insisted it was pirate treasure.
They admonished me in unison, “Now, Rocky, tell the truth!”
They said it melodramatically. But it wasn’t a joke.
Taking a break for cookies and hot chocolate.
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