Mr. Write's Page

When I was younger, my temperament was much more mellow. In fact, I was downright timid.

Regardless of the indignity, bureaucratic slight, or wretched service, I rarely spoke up. In my mind, a response, albeit deserving, would be bad manners. Making a scene. Uncool.

My, how I’ve changed. At my age, I am willing and able to pop off, bark back, or fire off a blistering nastygram when provoked. It feels great. Sarcasm in particular is a wonderful spice.

A few years ago, I learned about a new series of trails in the Chattahoochee National Forest. Over several weekends, I hiked them for the first time. They were awful.

Not every trail sends a thrill up your leg, of course, but these were needlessly awful. They were battered and poorly maintained to the point of being a truly bad experience.

So, righteous indignation swelling in my chest, I sharpened my knives and composed this email to the unsuspecting district office of the Forest Service…

——————

Dear sirs:

Over the last several weeks, I hiked the Frady Branch trails for the first time. Speaking as a hiker, not one of the many bicyclists and equestrians who frequent your trails, I have some comments about the experience.

With your permission, I will aim my remarks at other hikers. Feel free to post these comments on your website.

Hikers take note:

The Frady Branch Trail System was designed for, and is primarily used by, horses and mountain bikes.

As a hiker, you are likely to find these trails a great disappointment.

First, the trail surface is rutted and eroded heavily from all that traffic and weight. You will encounter numerous deep, soupy bogs of mud and manure. This will truly dampen your spirit. The horses don’t care, and the bikers probably don’t either, but to someone on foot, these conditions frankly are horrendous.

Second, at least half of the mileage within the FBTS is over gravel Forest Service roads, not trail. Walking on gravel, like walking in mud, or walking for 100 yards at a stretch on the shoulder of a ruined trail, is decidedly unpleasant.

But if you decide to go anyway…

The FBTS consists of four loops — one on the left, two in the middle that form a figure eight, and one on the right. The two middle loops are the best and driest; the one on the right is the most neglected and most appalling.

Please note that these four loops do not begin at the trailhead; they start about a mile away, down a gravel road. That adds two more miles of gravel-walking to your day. I used the time to ponder the parking fee of five dollars per car per day.

A suggestion to hikers.

On the other side of this very WMA, near Lake Russell, are four fine trails that are among the best you will find in Georgia. The Ladyslipper, Lake Russell, Sourwood, and Rhododendron Trails are fun, beautiful, and little used. That makes them perfect for hikers.

And the parking over there is free.

Very sincerely,

Rocky Smith
Jefferson, GA

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I never did hear back from the Forest Service.

Horse trailers at the Frady Branch trailhead.

A battalion of bikers at the ready.

Telltale hoofprints on the footpath.

Layin’ those knobbies down.

A poor hiker pays the price.