Here is some first-rate chuckle material: a selection of retractions and apologies published by various newspapers.
Naturally, most of these are from the British press, the British being peerless in the sensational allegation/solemn apology department.
The Mail on Sunday published stories claiming that TV news presenter Jon Snow had an affair with a writer called Precious Williams, and that they smoked cannabis together.
There is no truth in these allegations. We accept that, in fact, Mr. Snow never had any relationship with Miss Williams, and that the allegation of drug-taking was unfounded. We are happy to set the record straight, and we apologise for the embarrassment caused.
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Following the portrait of Tony and Cherie Blair published on 21 April in the Independent Saturday magazine, Ms. Blair’s representatives told us that she was friendly with, but never had a relationship with, Carole Caplin of the type suggested in the article.
They want to make it clear, which we are happy to do, that Ms. Blair “has never shared a shower with Ms. Caplin, was not introduced to spirit guides or primal wrestling by Ms. Caplin (or anyone else), and did not have her diary masterminded by Ms. Caplin.”
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We should clarify that the stir-fried morning glory recipe featured in Observer Food Monthly last week uses an edible morning glory, Ipomoea aquatica, found in Southeast Asia and also known as water spinach. This should not to be confused with the UK Ipomoea, also known as morning glory, which is poisonous.
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An article about Lord Lambton (“Lord Louche, sex king of Chiantishire,” News Review, January 7) falsely stated that his son Ned (now Lord Durham) and daughter Catherine held a party at Lord Lambton’s villa, Cetinale, in 1997, which degenerated into such an orgy that Lord Lambton banned them from Cetinale for years.
In fact, Lord Durham does not have a sister called Catherine (that is the name of his former wife), there has not been any orgiastic party of any kind, and Lord Lambton did not ban him (or Catherine) from Cetinale at all. We apologise sincerely to Lord Durham for the hurt and embarrassment caused.
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In an article in Monday’s newspaper, there may have been a misperception about why a Woodstock man is going to Afghanistan on a voluntary mission. Kevin DeClark is going to Afghanistan to gain life experience to become a police officer when he returns, not to shoot guns and blow things up. The Sentinel-Review apologizes for any embarrassment this may have caused.
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In the May 25 Explainer, Michelle Tsai asserted that an eight ball is about 10 lines of cocaine. While the size of a line depends on personal preference, most users would divide an eight ball into more than 25 lines.
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A photo caption on Saturday misspelled the name of the Pakistani capital. It is Islamabad, not Islambad.
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The Australian incorrectly stated that Ms. Van Tienen had been found guilty by the Australian Sport Anti-Doping Authority of trafficking drugs and was banned from participating in weightlifting for two years.
Ms Van Tienen has never been charged or convicted of drug offences, has never been banned from the sport, nor has she ever been involved in a drug ring. The Australian apologises unreservedly for any hurt or embarrassment caused to Ms. Van Tienen by the publication.
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ON April 3 we published an article entitled “The hangers-on who are dragging Prince Harry into the gutter,” which was accompanied by a photograph of a young woman we identified as Annabel Ritchie.
We now accept that the young woman photographed was not Annabel Ritchie. We also accept that Annabel Ritchie is not part of any so-called “hangers-on.” We apologise unreservedly to Annabel Ritchie for what we published about her.
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In an article about Tom Sykes, a freelance journalist, we mistakenly included a photograph of Tom Sykes, a digital TV consultant and his family. We wish to make it clear that the latter is not a recovering alcoholic or drug addict, and we apologise for the error.
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A front-page article yesterday about the role played by Barack Obama’s wife, Michelle, in his presidential campaign rendered incorrectly a word in a quotation from Valerie Jarrett, a friend of the Obamas who commented on their decision that he would run.
Ms. Jarrett said in a telephone interview, “Barack and Michelle thought long and hard about this decision before they made it” — not that they “fought” long and hard.
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