Mr. Write's Page

I love music — as long as it isn’t rap, country, or Italian opera.

Nevertheless, I give credit to the country genre for a few things: no other kind of music is so down to earth, or reflects emotion so unashamedly, or has the audacity to embrace humor.

Take, for example, these titles of country music songs…

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I Keep Forgettin’ I Forgot About You

I’ll Marry You Tomorrow, but Let’s Honeymoon Tonight

All I Want from You Is Away

I Got In at 2 With a 10 and Woke Up at 10 With a 2

All the Guys that Turn Me On Turn Me Down

She Got the Ring and I Got the Finger

How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?

I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well

An Old Flame Can’t Hold a Candle to You

Billy Broke My Heart at Walgreen’s and I Cried All the Way to Sears

I’d Rather Pass a Kidney Stone Than Another Night With You

Don’t Believe My Heart Can Stand Another You

He’s Got a Way With Women, and He’s Just Got Away With Mine

Don’t Come Home a-Drinkin’ With Lovin’ on Your Mind

Drop-Kick Me Jesus Through the Goal Posts of Life

Feelin’ Single and Drinkin’ Doubles

Don’t Roll Those Bloodshot Eyes at Me

Four on the Floor and a Fifth Under the Seat

Going to Hell in Your Heavenly Arms

Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart

Did I Shave My Legs for This?

Her Only Bad Habit Is Me

Here’s a Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares

Hold On to Your Men, ‘Cause She’s Single Again

How Come Your Dog Don’t Bite Nobody but Me?

I Gave Her My Heart and a Diamond, and She Clubbed Me With a Spade

I Only Miss You on the Days That End in “Y”

If Today Was a Fish, I’d Throw it Back In

How Did You Get So Ugly Overnight?

I Want a Beer as Cold as My Ex-Wife’s Heart

If I Were In Your Shoes, I’d Walk Right Back To Me

If The Phone Doesn’t Ring, It’s Me