Mr. Write's Page

FARSLEY, ENGLAND — The British postal service has suspended mail delivery to a local woman’s home following repeated attacks by a cat at the residence.

Royal Mail said it halted deliveries because postal workers had sustained “nasty injuries” from the cat.

The woman, a 43-year-old pharmacy worker, said she finds it hard to believe that her cat Tiger is behind the attacks.

She told reporters that Tiger is 19 years old, spends most of the day sleeping, and doesn’t have the energy to chase postal workers.

PONTIAC, MICHIGAN — During his trial in March, the defendant in a drug possession case complained to the judge that he had been searched without a warrant.

The prosecutor said the officer did not need a warrant because a bulge in the defendant’s jacket could have been a gun.

The defendant said that was untrue, because a bulge would not be noticeable in the rumpled, loose-fitting jacket.

The defendant then stated that he happened to be wearing the same jacket in court. He handed it over so the judge could examine it.

In one of the pockets, the judge discovered a packet of cocaine.

OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA — A man walked into a branch of Bank of America and on the back of a deposit slip wrote, “this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag.”

After waiting in line for several minutes, the man became impatient, left the Bank of America, and walked across to the street to a Wells Fargo branch.

He handed his note to a teller. After reading the note, the teller said that because his note was written on a Bank of America deposit slip, she could not honor his demand. She told him to either fill out a Wells Fargo withdrawal slip or go back across the street to Bank of America.

The man became irritated and walked out. The teller called police, who arrested the man a few minutes later, waiting in line at Bank of America.