Mr. Write's Page

I’m Sorry, I haven’t a Clue is one of those daffy game shows on BBC Radio in which witty panelists play word games before a live audience.

One game they play on the show is Straight Face. In it, the panelists, one at a time, are given a word to say out loud. If anyone in the audience laughs — “even the merest hint of a titter” — the panelist is eliminated.

Straight Face is quite challenging because, let’s face it,  some words are inherently funny. When a panelist is assigned to say “diphthong” in a hushed auditorium, the audience is hard-pressed to remain silent.

I was reminded of inherently funny words a few days ago, when I arrived home and found a message on my answering machine from my periodontist, reminding me of an upcoming appointment.

My periodontist is Dr. Marie Schweinebraten.

That’s pronounced SHWY-knee-brotten. The word is German, describes a type of pork roast cooked in beer, and does not roll easily off the tongue.

Around her office, no one attempts to say Schweinebraten. People just call her Doctor Marie.

All sorts of words — people, places, and things — are naturally funny. When one says them out loud, one often pauses and chuckles in appreciation.

Or, maybe it’s just me.

Anyway, in honor of my friend Dr. Marie, I put together a list of my all-time favorite people names that are funny and/or fun to say.

And, yes, I know Oompa-Loompas aren’t real and Harvey Wallbanger is a drink. Please, cut me some slack.

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Alger Hiss
Ali Baba
Amadeo Modigliani
Amanda Tapping
Ana Kournikova
Angelina Jolie
Antonio Banderas

Babe Didrickson Zaharias
Barack Obama
Bela Lugosi
Bilbo Baggins
Björn Borg
Bo Diddly
Boutros Boutros-Ghali
Bruce Boxleitner
Buckminster Fuller
Buster Keaton
Butterfly McQueen

Cannonball Adderly
Chester Nimitz
Christina Aguilera
Claude Monet
Condoleeza Rice
Conway Twitty

Dag Hammarskjöld
Daniel Patrick Moynihan

David Hasselhof
Diane von Fürstenberg
Dizzy Gillespie
Donatella Versace
Dweezil Zappa
Dwight Eisenhower

Earl Scruggs
Eddie Rickenbacker
Eli Lilly
Elihu Root
Elvis Presley
Emilio Estevez
Engelbert Humperdinck
Estes Kefauver
Evel Knievel
Ezra Pound

Farrah Fawcett
Fatty Arbuckle
Felix Frankfurter
Ferruccio Lamborghini
Forrest Gump
Francis Ford Coppola

Gaylord Perry
Georgios Papadopoulos
Giada de Laurentiis
Gina Lollobrigida

Grover Cleveland
Grover Norquist
Gwyneth Paltrow

Harry Houdini
Harvey Wallbanger
Hedy Lamarr
Herbert Hoover
Hiram Fong
Hoagy Carmichael
Hoot Gibson
Horace Greeley
Horatio Alger

Idi Amin
Iggy Pop
Iron Eyes Cody
Isabella Rossellini
Ish Kabibble

Joey Butafuoco
John Cameron Swayze
John Dos Passos
John Sununu
Jomo Kenyatta
Julio Iglesias
Justin Bieber

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

Lady Gaga
Lakshmi Singh
Larry Csonka
Lee Iacocca
Lemony Snicket
Leon Trotsky
Leonard Nimoy
Leonardo da Vinci
Leonardo DiCaprio

Liberace

Mahatma Gandhi
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
Maria Sharipova
Marie Schweinebraten, DMD
Mario Cuomo
Marlon Brando
Martina Navratilova
Michael Bublé
Millard Fillmore
Minnehaha
Muammar Gadhafi

Nadia Comaneci
Natassja Kinski
Nefertiti
Nipsy Russell
Norman Vincent Peale

Oliver Wendell Holmes
Omar Sharif
Oksana Baiul

Oompa Loompa
Orville Redenbacher
Otis Spunkmeyer

Pablo Picasso
Paul Prudhomme
Peewee Herman
Percival Lowell
Pia Zadora
Picabo Street
Portia De Rossi
Punxsutawny Phil

Quinton Tarentino

R2-D2
Reince Priebus
Rip Torn
Rip Van Winkle
Rod Blegojevich
Rush Limbaugh

Samuel Gompers
Scaramouche
Silvia Poggioli
Slobodan Miloševic
Sonia Sotomayor
Spiro Agnew
Strom Thurmond

T. Boone Pickins
Tex Ritter
Thurgood Marshall
Tim Tebow

Truman Capote
Twyla Tharpe

U Thant

Vladimir Putin

Westbrook Pegler
Willy Wonka

Y. A. Tittle

Yogi Berra
Yoko Ono
Yo-Yo Ma
Yvonne Goolagong

Zaphod Beeblebrox
ZaZu Pitts
Zebulon Pike

Zsa Zsa Gabor