To most Americans, Jonathan Goldsmith, 74, is instantly recognizable as “the most interesting man in the world,” the debonair bearded gentleman in the Dos Equis beer commercials.
The ads begin with a list of several astounding qualities and/or daring exploits credited to the Goldsmith character as a younger man. Then, at a party or night club, in the company of beautiful women, this giant among men looks you in the eye and intones, “I don’t always drink beer. But when I do, I prefer Dos Equis.”
(Cut to close-up.) “Stay thirsty, my friends.”
The ads are narrated by Will Lyman, who for 30 years has been the narrator of the PBS series Frontline. The ads are worth watching just to hear Lyman’s impeccable voice and delivery.
One interesting thing about the man who plays “the most interesting man in the world” is that he’s a laid-back Jewish guy from the Bronx.
Another interesting thing: during the 1960s and 1970s, Goldsmith was a busy actor in film and television. In “The Shootist” in 1967, he played a villain shot between the eyes by John Wayne. He appeared hundreds of times in various TV programs, including 17 times on “Dallas.”
In the 1980s, Goldsmith started a series of successful businesses and put acting aside. He came out of retirement in 2006 when he got the gig with Dos Equis.
As an example of his character and interests in real-life, Goldsmith is involved in a variety of commendable charities.
He is an advocate for victims of landmines; he supports the protection and preservation of the Siberian tiger; he promotes a group working to stop child sex trafficking in Cambodia; and he works with a foundation that pairs artists with children in protective custody.
That alone is worthy of a Dos Equis ad.
According to the ad agency, the interesting man character serves as a “voluntary brand spokesman” because he and Dos Equis share the belief that life “should be lived interestingly.”
Okay, even in the world of advertising, that’s seriously phony. But for a variety of reasons, the ad campaign works.
Not the least of those reasons is the litany of over-the-top feats and deeds attributed to the interesting man. Each ad features new qualities that shed light on interesting man’s god-like character and abilities.
The ad campaign has been around since 2006, so the list of accomplishments is quite lengthy. I’m not the first person to compile a list, but I couldn’t resist.
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He has won the lifetime achievement award, twice.
He gave his father “the talk.”
The contents of his tacos refuse to fall from their shells.
He wouldn’t be afraid to show his feminine side, if he had one.
He’s won trophies for his game face alone.
He does Calculus in his head.
His shirts never wrinkle.
He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels.
He is left-handed and right-handed.
If he were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there.
The police often question him just because they find him interesting.
His blood smells like cologne.
On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after him.
His hands feel like rich brown suede.
Cuba imports cigars from him.
Mosquitoes refuse to bite him, purely out of respect.
In museums, he is allowed to touch the art.
His business card simply says “I’ll call you.”
If he were to punch you in the face, you would have to fight off the urge to thank him.
He bowls overhand.
He lives vicariously through himself.
His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body.
When it is raining, it is because he is thinking of something sad.
He is fluent in all languages, including three that only he speaks.
He tips an astonishing 100%.
Once while sailing around the world, he discovered a short cut.
Panhandlers give him money.
He divorced his wife because he caught her littering.
His passport requires no photograph.
When he drives a new car off the lot, it increases in value.
He once taught a German shepherd to bark in Spanish.
He never says something tastes like chicken. Not even chicken.
He’s been known to cure narcolepsy just by walking into a room.
Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact number.
He’s a lover, not a fighter. But he’s also a fighter, so don’t get any ideas.
He has amassed an incredibly large DVD library, and it is said that he never once alphabetized it.
You can see his charisma from space.
If a monument were built in his honor, Mt. Rushmore would close due to poor attendance.
His organ donation card also lists his beard.
He doesn’t believe in using oven mitts, or potholders.
His reputation is expanding faster than the universe.
His charm is so contagious, vaccines were created for it.
His cereal never gets soggy. It sits there, staying crispy, just for him.
The pheromones he secretes have been known to affect people miles away, in a slight but measurable way.
He owns three sports cars and rents five.
He once taught a horse to read email for him.
He once brought in $13 million at a charity bachelor auction, which was a lot of money at the time.
Respected archaeologists fight over his discarded apple cores.
His personality is so magnetic, he is unable to carry credit cards.
Years ago, he created a city out of blocks. Today, over 600,000 people live and work there.
He is the only person to ever ace a Rorschach Test.
Every time he goes for a swim, dolphins appear.
Alien abductors have asked him to probe them.
If he were to give you directions, you would never get lost, and you would arrive at least five minutes early.
Eskimos have seven different words to describe his beard.
His legend precedes him, the way lightning precedes thunder.
He always rounds to five decimal points.
His snow globe gets 24 inches of powder annually.
His words carry weight that would break a less interesting man’s jaw.
He can play Chopin on the drums.
His mother has a tattoo that says ‘son.’
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Dos Equis keeps the campaign going because it works. They claim U.S. sales increased 22 percent during a period when sales of other imported beers dropped four percent.
According to Goldsmith, a man once approached him in a restaurant and told a story about his young son.
The man said he asked his son what he wanted to be when he grew up. The boy replied, “I want to be ‘the most interesting man in the world.'”
So do the rest of us, kid.
Young Jonathan Goldsmith in an episode of “Mission Impossible,” 1970.
His passport requires no photograph.
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