BEAVER DAM, WISCONSIN — A woman who took a baby kangaroo into a local McDonald’s restaurant was escorted from the premises by police after a customer complained.
The woman insisted that Jimmy, an eight-month-old kangaroo, is a gentle therapy animal helping her cope with cancer. She said Jimmy goes everywhere with her in a baby stroller, including to church and to the movies, and no one objects.
Exotic pets are banned in the city, but the woman was not charged with a crime. Police said she voluntarily complied with the law by leaving McDonald’s in an orderly manner.
The woman and her husband live nearby on a 70-acre farm. They own five kangaroos, as well as assorted horses, sheep, goats, emus, deer, peacocks, chickens, and geese.
TIRANA, ALBANIA — Three Chinese contractors were waylaid on a remote mountain road last month by masked Albanian gunmen brandishing Soviet-era rifles. The robbers held the contractors at gunpoint and demanded their cell phones, money, and other valuables.
Speaking in Chinese, the contractors coordinated a counterattack. Using karate, they overpowered the robbers, subdued them, and called police.
The contractors later re-enacted the incident for an Albanian TV station, demonstrating the powerful blows and kicks they used on the robbers.
KERMIT, TEXAS — A fourth-grader who threatened to use the malevolent ring from J. R. R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings stories to make a classmate disappear was suspended by a local elementary school for making terroristic threats.
School officials said the boy claimed to possess the “One Ring” — the corrupting, all-powerful ring from The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit — and threatened to use it on a classmate.
The boy’s father said the family recently watched the film The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies, but he assured reporters that his nine-year-old son lacks the magical powers to make his friend disappear. “If he did, I’m sure he’d bring him right back.”
When asked to comment, the school superintendent replied, “All student stuff is confidential.” I say use the ring on the superintendent.
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