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Donald Trump, the most laughable President in U.S. history, met with his full Cabinet for the first time recently. Since then, the meeting has been thoroughly covered in the news and mocked repeatedly, and there’s little reason for Rocky Smith to chime in about it, but I can’t help myself…

Trump, the Orange Vulgarian, never operates in a remotely normal or dignified manner, so it came as no surprise that his first Cabinet meeting was so cringe-worthy.

After patting himself on the back for a host of phantom accomplishments, Trump asked the assembled minions to say a few words. They did. All of them.

In my considered opinion, these minions are an especially villainous bunch, not only ill-suited to serve, but salivating to wreak havoc while they can. (You know, like Scott Pruitt cheerfully dismantling environmental protections.) I expect only the worst from them.

And the worst is what we got. What transpired was an example of shameless sycophancy — of a roomful of toadies competing to out-brown-nose each other and impress Dear Leader Trump.

Through it all, Trump listened, nodded, and smiled with satisfaction. No doubt it reminded him of his glory days on The Apprentice.

Here are some lowlights from the meeting.

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Mike Pence, Vice President:

“It is just the greatest privilege of my life is to serve as the — as vice president to the President who’s keeping his word to the American people and assembling a team that’s bringing real change, real prosperity, real strength back to our nation.”

Sonny Perdue, Secretary of Agriculture:

“I want to congratulate you on the men and women you’ve placed around this table. This is the team you’ve assembled that’s working hand in glove with — for the men and women of America, and I want to — I want to thank you for that. These are — are great team members and we’re on your team.”

Jefferson Beauregard Sessions, Attorney General:

“We are receiving, as you know — I’m not sure the rest of you fully understand — the support of law enforcement all over America. They have been very frustrated. They are so thrilled that we have a new idea that we’re going to support them and work together to properly, lawfully fight the rising crime that we are seeing. The response is fabulous around the country.”

Tom Price, Secretary of Health and Human Services:

“Mr. President, what an incredible honor it is to lead the Department of Health and Human Services at this pivotal time under your leadership. I can’t thank you enough for the privileges you’ve given me and the leadership that you’ve shown.”

Nikki Haley, UN Ambassador:

“It’s a new day at the United Nations. You know, we now have a very strong voice. People know what the United States is for, they know what we’re against, and they see us leading across the board. And so, I think the international community knows we’re back.”

Scott Pruitt, EPA Administrator:

“I actually arrived back this morning at 1 o’clock from Italy and the G-7 summit focused on the environment. And our message there was the United States is going to be focused on growth and protecting the environment. And it was received well.”

Rick Perry, Energy Secretary:

“America is not stepping back, but we’re stepping into place and sending some messages, that we’re still going to be leaders in the world when it comes to the climate, but we’re not going to be held hostage to some executive order that was ill thought out. And so, my hat’s off to you for taking that stance and presenting a clear message around the world that America’s going to continue to lead in the area of energy.”

David Shulkin, Secretary of Veterans Affairs:

“Mr. President, thank you for your support and commitment to honoring our responsibility to America’s veterans. I know that this is personally very important to you.”

Mick Mulvaney, Director, Office of Management and Budget:

“Thanks for the kind words about the budget. You’re absolutely right, we are going to be able to take care of the people who really need it. And at the same time, with your direction, we were able to also focus on the forgotten man and woman who are the folks who are paying those taxes.”

Steve Mnuchin, Secretary of the Treasury:

“It was a great honor traveling with you around the country for the last year and an even greater honor to be here serving on your Cabinet.”

Mike Pompeo, CIA Director:

“Mr. President, it’s an honor to serve as your CIA director. It’s an incredible privilege to lead the men and women who are providing intelligence so that we can do the national security mission. And in the finest traditions of the CIA, I’m not going to share a damn thing in front of the media.”

Rrrrreince Priebus, Chief of Staff:

“On behalf of the entire senior staff around you, Mr. President, we thank you for the opportunity and the blessing that you’ve given us to serve your agenda.”

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To be fair, a couple of the minions maintained a modicum of integrity and wouldn’t play.

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James Mattis, Secretary of Defense:

“Mr. President, it’s an honor to represent the men and women of the Department of Defense. And we are grateful for the sacrifices our people are making in order to strengthen our military so our diplomats always negotiate from a position of strength. Thank you.”

Rex Tillerson, Secretary of State:

“Thank you for the honor to serve the country. It’s a great privilege you’ve given me.”

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Even so, the fact that most of them DID play, and that Trump clearly expects such fawning, is a sorry spectacle.

Years ago, when I was a green lieutenant in the Air Force, I was having lunch with a colonel who was head of the base Legal Office. I don’t recall the subject, but I observed that, in some situation or other, we had reached “rock bottom.”

“Bottom?” the colonel replied. “Rocky, wake up. There is no bottom.”