A trip to Walmart, if you’ll permit me this peculiar analogy, is a bit like going to the Mos Eisley spaceport in “Star Wars.”
Not because it’s a wretched hive of scum and villainy. Au contraire, mes amis. Rather, because Walmart is a societal and cultural melting pot, teeming with activity, always poised to surprise and entertain.
When in Walmart, a person should be observant, because sometimes you strike gold.
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So, there I was at Walmart, in the electronics department, perusing the laptops that hadn’t been vandalized yet.
A few yards away, a young man and woman in their 20s were rifling through the DVDs in a large bin marked “$3.74.”
Strapped to the young woman’s chest was a googly-eyed infant dressed in pink. The baby was trying gamely to snag one of the DVDs from the bin, emulating Mom and Dad.
Twice, the child succeeded and began to gnaw on the corner of the DVD. Each time, the mom snatched it away and sailed it back into the bin.
After a time, this exchange ensued:
Dad — Hey, look. Alien. That’s an oldie.
Mom — We got that already. You paid too much for it. I told you that.
They continued digging.
Dad — Oh, wow! The Terminator! Another classic!
Mom — We got that, too.
Dad — I know. I’m just sayin’ it goes way back. Schwarzenegger made The Terminator before he was President.
Mom — Honey, for God’s sake! Schwarzenegger wadn’t never President!
Dad — He damn sure was. He was President of California.
Mom — That is so dumb! Listen, he wadn’t PRESIDENT of California!
Dad — He damn sure was.
Mom — No, he wadn’t! He was MAYOR of California!
Dad — You sure?
Mom — Hell, yes!
Dad — Mayor, President. Same thing.
People of means go to see Hamilton. The rest of us schlubs have to be content with the floor show at Wal-Mart.
Not that we’re complaining.