Over the years, I’ve become noticeably more emotional and sentimental. I don’t recall being so blubbery when I was younger.
This tendency troubled me at first. Men are supposed to be manly. Tough. Stoic. Men don’t cry while watching “The Notebook” or reading “The Book Thief,” right?
Au contraire, mes amis. As it turns out, my condition has a proper and scientific explanation.
According to the experts, being something of a softie is an indicator of personal strength, not weakness. It’s a sign of emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and control your own emotions and to have a reasonably accurate sense of the emotions of others. Empathy and compassion play major roles here.
Hard science as well as social science backs up this concept. And it begins with the hormone oxytocin, sometimes called the “love hormone.”
Oxytocin is complex and multi-faceted. When released in females, it helps facilitate childbirth, lactation, and bonding between mother and newborn.
For men as well as women, oxytocin facilitates pair bonding, social (group) bonding, and even bonding with your pet. By strengthening empathy and compassion, the hormone helps us connect with members of our key social groups.
If you weep easily over a written passage or an emotional movie scene — as I find myself doing rather consistently — it means oxytocin has heightened your compassion and empathy.
Further, it’s a plus if you’re not ashamed to let others see your emotions on display.
Consider, also, that authors and filmmakers are skilled at creating characters and scenes that are emotionally powerful. They’re called “tear-jerkers” because they’re designed to affect you.
So, if you possess a reasonable degree of empathy and get emotional sometimes, good for you.
I am relieved to know that being blubbery is a positive thing. I now feel free to weep like a sap as necessary, and I give myself a pat on the back for my compassion, empathy, and emotional intelligence.
Mind you, I do have my standards. I’ve never read a romance novel. And years ago, I watched one Hallmark Channel movie.
One was enough.

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