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Archive for the ‘Regular Features’ Category

The Questions…

1. Leonardo da Vinci’s painting The Last Supper gave rise to two well-known superstitions. One is never seating 13 people at the dinner table. What is the other?

2. Bank of America was founded in 1904. Under what name was it established?

3. What British-born movie producer/director/actor/puppeteer is the voice of Miss Piggy and other Muppet characters, plus the voice of Cookie Monster and other Sesame Street characters, plus the voice of Yoda in the Star Wars films?

4. In 2001, pro football inducted a non-player, George Toma, into the Hall of Fame. Who is Toma?

5. What and where is Null Island?

The Answers…

1. In the painting, Judas is knocking over a container of salt with his arm, which led to the superstition that spilling salt is a bad omen.

2. BofA began as the Bank of Italy in San Francisco’s Little Italy neighborhood. The founder was the son of Italian immigrants who said other banks were freezing out Italians. In 1922, it was renamed the Bank of America and Italy. The Italy part was dropped in 1930.

3. Frank Oz, real name Frank Oznowicz. His parents were Dutch puppeteers who fought the Nazis during WWII before fleeing to England. They came to America when Frank was five.

4. George Toma was the longtime head groundskeeper of the NFL as well as numerous MLB stadiums. He prepared the field for every Super Bowl from the first one in 1967 until he retired in 1999. Now age 90, he is still active as a consultant.

5. Null Island is the fanciful name of the spot on Earth where the Equator (latitude 0°) intersects the Prime Meridian (longitude 0°) off the east coast of Africa. Nothing is there except a NOAA weather buoy.

Last Supper

Null Island

 

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According to rock musician Mark Knopfler, he wrote the 1985 hit song “Money for Nothing” after hearing a delivery man in an appliance store make comments about the musicians on MTV.

Knopfler said it happened in a store in New York. On a back wall, several TV sets were tuned to MTV. While watching the bands perform, a male employee wearing a baseball cap used the terms “money for nothing,” “that ain’t working,” and “what are those, Hawaiian noises?”

Knopfler has been criticized for including the term “faggot” in the lyrics. In 2011, the tune was even banned in Canada for being offensive — which created howls of protest about banning songs. Knopfler maintains it’s a term the song’s character would use.

Bonus fact: Knopfler shares the songwriting credit with Sting, who wrote and sings the “I want my MTV” lines.

Dire Straits-1

Money For Nothing

By Dire Straits, 1985
Written by Mark Knopfler and Sting

I want my MTV.
I want my… I want my MTV.
I want my… I want my MTV.
I want my MTV.

Now, look at them yo-yos. That’s the way you do it.
You play the guitar on the MTV.
That ain’t workin’. That’s the way you do it.
Money for nothin’ and your chicks for free.

Now, that ain’t workin’. That’s the way you do it.
Lemme tell ya, them guys ain’t dumb.
Maybe get a blister on your little finger.
Maybe get a blister on your thumb.

We got to install microwave ovens.
Custom kitchen deliveries.
We got to move these refrigerators.
We got to move these color TVs.

The little faggot with the earring and the make-up —
Yeah, buddy, that’s his own hair.
That little faggot got his own jet airplane.
That little faggot, he’s a millionaire.

We got to install microwave ovens.
Custom kitchen deliveries.
We got to move these refrigerators.
We got to move these color TVs.

Got to install microwave ovens.
Custom kitchens deliveries.
We’ve got to move these refrigerators.
Got to move these color TVs.

I shoulda learned to play the guitar.
I shoulda learned to play them drums.
Look at that mama. She got it stickin’ in the camera, man.
We could have some fun.

And he’s up there — what’s that? Hawaiian noises?
Bangin’ on the bongos like a chimpanzee.
Oh, that ain’t workin’. That’s the way you do it.
Get your money for nothin’, get your chicks for free.

We got to install microwave ovens.
Custom kitchen deliveries.
We got to move these refrigerators.
We got to move these color TVs.

Listen here…

Now, that ain’t workin’. That’s the way you do it.
You play the guitar on the MTV.
That ain’t workin’. That’s the way you do it.
Money for nothin’ and your chicks for free.

Money for nothin’. Chicks for free.
Get your money for nothin’ and your chicks for free.
Money for nothin’. Chicks for free.
Get your money for nothin’. Chicks for free.

Money for nothin’. Chicks for free.
Get your money for nothin’ and your chicks for free.
Your money for nothin’, the chicks for free.
Get you money for nothin’ and the chicks for free.

Look at that, look at that.

I want my… I want my… I want my MTV.

Get you money for nothin’ and the chicks for free.
Money for nothin’, chicks for free.
Get your money for nothin’ and the chicks for free.
Get your money for nothin’ and the chicks for free.

Easy, easy money for nothin’. Easy, easy chicks for free.
Easy, easy money for nothin’. Chicks for free.

That ain’t workin’.

Dire Straits-2

Dire Straits-3

 

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Neck

Prius

Dine out

Metaphors

 

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The Questions…

1. In most of the Western world, black cats are considered evil omens or symbols of bad luck. In what non-Western country are black cats a sign of good luck and prosperity?

2. Who invented the odometer?

3. Residents of the English cities of London and Liverpool are called Londoners and Liverpudlians. What are natives of Manchester and Birmingham called?

4. The acronym KIPPERS is used on Wall Street to define adult children living with their parents. What does KIPPERS stand for?

5. Who was the first person to appear as Ronald McDonald in a TV commercial?

The Answers…

1. Japan. In Japanese culture, black cats represent good fortune and prosperity in business, a talisman against danger and bad luck, and positive mojo for your love life.

2. Benjamin Franklin. In 1753, he measured the distance from Boston to New York by counting the rotations of a wheel on his carriage. He marked each mile with a wooden stake, then had the stakes replaced with engraved mile-marker stones.

3. Mancunians and Brummies. Mamucium (aka Mancunium) was an old Roman fort that grew to become Manchester. Brummagem was the original name of Birmingham.

4. Kids in Parents’ Pockets Eroding Retirement Savings.

5. The first Ronald was Willard Scott, later the resident weatherman on the Today Show. In 1963, Scott was playing Bozo the Clown for a TV station in Washington, D.C. McDonald’s hired him, and he played the Ronald character until 1965.

Black cat

Ronald-Willard

 

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Tunes o’ the Day

In 1958, the Kingston Trio’s recording of “Tom Dooley” gave the folk music craze a healthy boost.

The song is a solid, musically-pleasing folk ballad, and the subject (murder, hanging) made it stand out from most popular music of the time. Moreover, the tune is tantalizingly simple and only hints at the events in question.

FYI, Tom Dooley met a young woman, allegedly stabbed her to death, was apprehended because of someone named Grayson, and faced the gallows the next day.

The song may be lean, but the story behind it is detailed, lurid, and sensational.

“Tom Dooley” is based on the saga of a former Confederate soldier who was convicted and hanged for the 1866 murder of Laura Foster in Wilkes County, North Carolina. His name was Thomas C. Dula, pronounced “Dooley” in the local dialect.

The tale involved Tom, three women, much hanky-panky, and the fact that all four were being treated for syphilis. Some say the real murderer was one of the women, and Tom went to the gallows out of love for her. Grayson? He was a Tennessean who helped the posse catch Tom.

Not long after Dula’s execution, Thomas Land wrote a poem, “The Murder of Laura Foster,” that seems to be the source of the song. The origin of the music is unknown. You can Google “Tom Dula” for more.

The Kingston Trio version earned accolades aplenty — number one rated, chosen one of the Songs of the Century, and so on. I also like the funkier Steve Earle version from 2002, which added some additional details about the murder from Tom.

Here are both versions.

Kingston Trio

Tom Dooley

By the Kingston Trio, 1958
Based on a poem by Thomas Land

Throughout history, there have been many songs written about the eternal triangle. The next one tells the story of a Mr. Grayson, a beautiful woman, and a condemned man named Tom Dooley. When the sun rises tomorrow, Tom Dooley must hang…

Hang down your head, Tom Dooley,
Hang down your head and cry.
Hang down your head, Tom Dooley,
Poor boy, you’re bound to die.

I met her on the mountain. There I took her life.
Met her on the mountain. Stabbed her with my knife.

Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.
Hang down your head and cry.
Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.
Poor boy, you’re bound to die.

This time tomorrow, reckon where I’ll be.
Hadn’t o’ been for Grayson, I’d o’ been in Tennessee.

Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.
Hang down your head and cry.
Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.
Poor boy, you’re bound to die.

Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.
Hang down your head and cry.
Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.
Poor boy, you’re bound to die.

This time tomorrow, reckon where I’ll be.
Down in some lonesome valley, hangin’ from a white oak tree.

Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.
Hang down your head and cry.
Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.
Poor boy, you’re bound to die.

Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.
Hang down your head and cry.
Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.
Poor boy, you’re bound to die.
Poor boy, you’re bound to die.
Poor boy, you’re bound to die.
Poor boy, you’re bound to — die.

Earle Steve

Tom Dooley

By Steve Earle, 2002
Traditional lyrics embellished by Earle

Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.
Hang down your head and cry.
Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.
Poor boy, you’re bound to die.

I met her on the mountain.
I said she’d be my wife.
I met her on the mountain.
Stabbed her with my knife.

Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.
Hang down your head and cry.
Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.
Poor boy, you’re bound to die.

I drug her to the river,
As God Almighty knows.
The man beside the water
Hid her shoes and clothes.

I dug her grave four foot long.
I dug it three foot deep.
I threw the cold clay on her,
Tramped it with my feet.

Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.
Hang down your head and cry.
Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.
Poor boy, you’re bound — poor boy you’re bound to die.

By this time tomorrow,
Reckon where I’ll be:
Down there in that hollow
Hangin’ from a tree.

Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.
Hang down your head and cry.
Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.
Poor boy, you’re bound to die.

Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.
Hang down your head and cry.
Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.
Poor boy, you’re bound to die.

Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.
Hang down your head and cry.
Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.
Poor boy, you’re bound to die.

Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.
Hang down your head and cry.
Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.
Poor boy, you’re bound — poor boy, you’re bound to die.

Yeah, that sounds like a phonograph record to me. That one right there.

 

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A man’s life is interesting primarily when he has failed, I well know. It is a sign that he tried to surpass himself.

Georges Clemenceau

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Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless. Knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful.

— Samuel Johnson

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Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.

— Seneca the Younger

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Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Clemenceau

Clemenceau

Emerson RW

Emerson

 

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This Just In

BEIJING, CHINA — The 2018 Disney movie “Christopher Robin” has been banned in China, reportedly because President Xi Jinping is sensitive about his resemblance to Winnie the Pooh.

The ban follows a series of recent restrictions that block most references to Winnie the Pooh on Chinese social media. China’s internet filtering and censorship system is one of the most restrictive in the world.

Because Xi is sensitive about his perceived resemblance to Pooh, dissidents and critics bring it up at every opportunity. Winnie the Pooh coffee mugs have become popular, and side-by-side photos of Xi and Pooh appear regularly.

xi-pooh

BELLEVILLE, ILLINOIS — A team of firefighters rescued a Belleville man last month who became stuck in quicksand while pursuing his pet parrot.

The rescue took place at a city park after visitors reported the man calling for help.

A lake at the park was being dredged, and the mud became liquefied, forming the quicksand. Firefighters extended ladders across the mud and hauled the man to safety.

Ironically, the parrot returned and perched on the man’s shoulder during the rescue.

No injuries were reported to man, bird, or firefighters.

parrot rescue

KRATIÉ, CAMBODIA — Khim Hang, a 74-year-old widow, shares her home with a five-month-old calf she believes is a reincarnation of her husband Tol Khut, who died a year ago.

“I believe that the calf is my husband because whatever he does … is in exactly the same way as my husband did when he was alive,” she said.

The calf enters the woman’s home freely, where it is fed, washed, and put to bed on a pillow once used by Tol Khut.

The calf was born in March and has become a Cambodian social media sensation with a strong following on Facebook. As many as 100 people a day visit Khim Hang’s house to see the calf.

reincarnation

 

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