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Archive for the ‘Regular Features’ Category

Hobbit

Schrodinger

Clowns, jokers

Importanter

 

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POMPANO BEACH, FLORIDA — For the second time, a Florida man has been rescued by the Coast Guard after attempting to reach Bermuda and other ports in a giant inflatable “hydropod.”

Reza Baluchi, an endurance athlete, was rescued after he ignored a Coast Guard order not to undertake the journey. He was warned that the device was “manifestly unsafe” because temperatures inside his custom-made bubble easily could reach 120 degrees.

The hydropod resembles a giant hamster wheel and features “buoyancy balls” on each side. Propelled by pedaling, it is equipped with shark repellent, a GPS device, and a life jacket with built-in water filter. Baluchi said he wanted to raise money for “children in need.”

He made a similar failed attempt in 2014, when he was discovered near Miami, dazed and asking for directions to Bermuda. That rescue cost the government $144,000.

Hydropod

ANCHORAGE, ALASKA — Frantic campers at Centennial Park Campground called police in the predawn hours last month to report that a bear had attacked a tent, and a person may have been inside.

The bear was gone when officers arrived, and the tent was in tatters. When they poked a sleeping bag inside the tent, a 58-year-old woman popped her head out. She said she had been playing dead to evade the bear.

Noting that the campsite was littered with food and trash, which attracts bears, police issued the woman a citation.

Subsequently, they discovered an outstanding warrant on the woman for failing to appear on a disorderly conduct charge, and she was arrested.

Bear attack

HAWTHORNE, FLORIDA — A 49-year-old man phoned the Putnam County Sheriff’s Office last month to report having a violent reaction to smoking a narcotic he purchased from a former girlfriend. The man said he thought he was buying “crank,” but believed he was cheated. He asked if he could press charges against the woman.

A deputy offered to test and identify the drug if the man would bring it to the Narcotics Unit. The man complied, turning over a crystal-like substance wrapped in aluminum foil.

When the substance tested positive for methamphetamine, the man was arrested for possession without a prescription. He was transported next door to the county jail.

On its Facebook page, the Sheriff’s Office observed, “Remember, our detectives are always ready to assist anyone who believes they were misled in their illegal drug purchase.”

Meth

 

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The Questions…

1. The tradition of flying a flag at half-staff began in the 17th Century. It was seen as a symbol of respect and/or mourning, done to acknowledge some national event or the death of a notable person. What was the original meaning of the tradition?

2. What’s the difference between a nook and a cranny?

3. Chuck E. Cheese is the mouse mascot of the now-global restaurant chain bearing his name. His backstory: he is an orphaned mouse who doesn’t know his own birthday, so he hosts birthday parties for kids. What does the E in Chuck E. Cheese stand for?

4. Who was the youngest U.S. President?

5. What is the name of the business conglomerate formed by The Beatles in 1968?

The Answers…

1. Flying the flag at half-staff supposedly leaves space above it for “the invisible flag of death.”

2. A nook is a corner. A cranny is a crack.

3. Entertainment.

4. Theodore Roosevelt. He was 42 and serving as Vice President when William McKinley was assassinated in 1901. FYI, John Kennedy was 43 when he took office, Bill Clinton and Ulysses Grant were 46, and Barack Obama was 47.

5. Apple Corps. A Granny Smith apple is its logo. The company’s primary business is Apple Records, but other divisions have included films, music publishing, a recording studio, a retail store, and electronics. Over the years, Apple Corps and Apple Inc. (the iPhone/Mac people) have sued each other regularly for trademark infringement and violating settlement agreements.

Half-staff

Apple Corps

 

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The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.

— William Arthur Ward

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Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.

— Winston Churchill

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People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

— Isaac Asimov

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Judge each day not by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.

— Robert Louis Stevenson

Ward WA

Ward

Stevenson RL-2

Stevenson

 

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Tune o’ the Day

The Promise” is a simple, pleasant love song by “When in Rome,” one of the British new wave bands from the 1980s. You may recognize the tune from the tetherball scene in the 2004 film “Napoleon Dynamite.”

When in Rome” was a good band that fell apart for the usual reasons: internal squabbles, creative differences, rancor, jealousy, no doubt hurt feelings. After the original members broke up in 1990, the legal wrangling began. Today, two independent groups are touring: “When in Rome II” and “When in Rome UK.”

Three decades later, has either band scored a hit as good as, or as popular as, “The Promise”? Of course not.

When in Rome

The Promise

By When In Rome, 1987
Written by Clive Farrington, Michael Floreale, and Andrew Mann

If you need a friend, don’t look to a stranger.
You know, in the end, I’ll always be there.
And when you’re in doubt, and when you’re in danger,
Take a look all around, and I’ll be there.

I’m sorry, but I’m just thinking of the right words to say.
I know they don’t sound the way I planned them to be.
But if you wait around awhile, I’ll make you fall for me.
I promise. I promise you, I will.

When your day is through, and so is your temper,
You know what to do. I’ll always be there.
Sometimes if I shout, it’s not what’s intended.
The words just come out, with no cross to bear.

I’m sorry, but I’m just thinking of the right words to say.
I know they don’t sound the way I planned them to be.
But if you wait around awhile, I’ll make you fall for me.
I promise. I promise you.

I’m sorry, but I’m just thinking of the right words to say.
I know they don’t sound the way I planned them to be.
But if you wait around awhile, I’ll make you fall for me.
I promise. I promise you, I will.

I’m sorry, but I’m just thinking of the right words to say.
I know they don’t sound the way I planned them to be.
But if you’ll wait around awhile, I’ll make you fall for me.
I promise. I promise you.

I’m sorry, but I’m just thinking of the right words to say.
I know they don’t sound the way I planned them to be.
But if you’ll wait around awhile, I’ll make you fall for me.
I promise. I promise you, I will.

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Print

On board

Next war

Daddy

 

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The Questions…

1. Four of the five Great Lakes share borders with the U.S. and Canada. The fifth is located entirely within the United States. Name it.

2. What is Morton’s toe?

3. Each year in Scotland, a music festival is held on the banks of Loch Ness, the purported home of the “Loch Ness Monster.” What is the name of the festival?

4. In 1908, SOS was adopted as the universal distress signal sent in Morse code by wireless operators. What signal did it replace?

5. If you use the term peacocks to refer to a group of the birds that includes both sexes, you are in error. The male is a peacock, and the female is a peahen. (Juveniles are peachicks.) What is the proper collective term for a group that includes males and females?

The Answers…

1. Lake Michigan.

2. Morton’s toe is a condition in which the second toe is longer than the big toe. It occurs on 10-20 percent of feet. In the 1920s, Dr. Dudley J. Morton discovered its cause: a slightly short metatarsal in the big toe.

3. Rock Ness.

4. Originally, wireless operators transmitted CQD as a distress signal. CQ meant a call to all stations, and the D was for distress. The world switched to SOS because CQ and CQD are too similar and could be confused. When the Titanic was sinking in 1912, its radio officer sent out multiple calls, alternating CQD and SOS.

5. The correct term is peafowl. FYI, a group of peafowl is called a pride or an ostentation.

Great Lakes

Peafowl

 

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