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Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

Let's eat

Quit

Baby

Clown

 

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Friends, I am truly jaded when it comes to fads.

To be clear, I’m referring to fads, not trends. Beanie Babies and pet rocks were fads; electric cars and ebooks are trends.

These days, when I learn of a new craze or obsession — the latest sensation in attire, style, or whatever — my reaction is either a chuckle, a sigh, or an eye roll.

The only reason something clicks and is deemed cool and exciting is that, for a brief time, people have a chance to feel cool and enjoy the excitement, right? We all know the novelty will wear off and the mania will fizzle.

Consider the many fads that came and went in recent times. Bellbottoms, drive-in theaters, fallout shelters, ant farms, tie-dyed clothing.

Zoot suits, leg warmers, eight-track tapes, Rubik’s cubes. Members Only jackets. Break dancing, yo-yos, hula hoops.

The Twist. The Macarena. Bermuda shorts. Mom jeans. Overalls with one strap dangling.

Nothing wrong with a shared enthusiasm, mind you. But, wow, fads sure do lean toward the dopey and pointless.

What, you ask, brings me to opine that embracing the next new thing is dopey and pointless? Simple. I was thinking about myself back in the day, when I was young and foolish, too.

Back in high school, I was — you can trust me on this — a hip and savvy dude. I knew what was happenin’, and I put much energy into following the fads du jour.

Note, for example, how I rocked the epitome of cool in those days, a flattop haircut. Not to mention this stylish tweed blazer.

Walter Allan Smith (Rocky), about 1959.

Before long, I advanced to a glorified flattop — AKA a Detroit, AKA a “flattop with fenders.” That baby was flat on top and long on the sides, tapering to a handsome ducktail in the back.

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When I went away to college in the early 1960s, the times were a’changin’. Flattops were becoming passé on campus, so I heeded the call to go preppy. It was sort of the astronaut or folk singer look.

Walter Allan Smith (Rocky), freshman year in college, 1960-61.

By the time I graduated from college, the hippies were in ascendance. Long hair was the new thing for men.

But not for me. Alas, I went immediately from college into the Air Force, which tolerated no longhairs. I was obliged to keep the preppy look.

Walter Allan Smith (Rocky), Cannon AFB, NM.

By the time I was a civilian again, I was married with kids and working 9 to 5 in an office. Becoming a longhair would have been ill-advised as a career strategy. Thus, for a goodly time, the only variation in my hair style was the length of my sideburns.

Eventually, I got tired of worrying about whether my sideburns were the fashionable length of the moment, so I grew a beard.

Walter Allan Smith (Rocky), 12/25/1984.

That was in the mid-1980s. I haven’t shaved since.

Also, to be honest, a sobering personal reality was becoming obvious in those days: the signs were undeniable that male pattern baldness was in my future. Being a longhair probably wouldn’t be in the cards anyway. Nature can be cruel and without pity.

So can some people. My dad, who kept a full head of hair to the end, found this turn of events greatly amusing.

Anyway, as a result of how the hair thing worked out for me, I bypassed half a lifetime of men’s coiffure fads.

I say that with no regret whatsoever.

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And, hey — don’t get me started on skinny jeans.

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Neck

Prius

Dine out

Metaphors

 

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Beebleberries

I’m a big fan of trivia, miscellanea, and minutiae. I enjoy coming across facts that pique my interest and make me think, wow, I didn’t know that, or wow, I forgot about that.

This predilection for random interesting stuff goes way back. A case in point:

During the 1970s, I lived in Fort Lauderdale, and for most of those years, I worked at the Chamber of Commerce in Hollywood, the city next door.

The staff numbered about half a dozen, both sexes, ranging in age from mid-20s to mid-30s. It was a good bunch, except for the boss, who was a petty tyrant and a self-serving jerk.

Being the office wordsmith and a trivia nut, I began the practice of issuing a weekly quiz of trivia questions for my office mates. I would distribute a list of five questions one day and the answers the next. The quizzes were quite a hit.

I drew the questions from the popular culture of the time. Specifically, the trivia reflected the experiences of people my age, who were born in the 1940s and grew up in the 1950s and 1960s.

Being compulsive when it comes to documenting things, and being loath to throw anything away, I kept many of those quizzes. Today, they stand out as dated curiosities, but interesting just the same.

Here is a sampling.

———

Questions:

1 – How would Elmer Fudd say “A rabbi from Lubbock”?
2 – What rivals both claim to possess the world’s largest ball of string?
3 – “Don Diego” is the real identity of whom?
4 – Who is Ming the Merciless?
5 – Describe Beany, Cecil, and Dishonest John.

Answers:

1 – Elmer pronounces his Rs and Ls as Ws, so he would say, “A wabbi from Wubbock.”
2 – Scrooge McDuck and his archenemy Flintheart Glomgold.
3 – Zorro.
4 – Flash Gordon’s nemesis.
5 – A little boy wearing a propeller beanie, a green dragon, and a mustachioed villain in black.

beany and cecil

Questions:

6 – In the stories told by Little Lulu, what did The Little Girl gather in the forest?
7 – Who were Corporal Barbella and Private Doberman?
8 – Who was the strong man on “The Big Top”?
9 – On the radio version of “Gunsmoke,” how did Marshall Dillon say the job affected him?
10 – What trio performed often on Ernie Kovaks’ TV show? What poet did Ernie portray?

Answers:

6 – Beebleberries, which are a cross between bananas and Spam.
7 – Soldiers who worked for Sgt. Bilko at the Fort Baxter motor pool.
8 – Dan Lurie, aka “Circus Dan the Muscle Man.”
9 – He said it makes a man watchful, and a little lonely.
10 – The Nairobi Trio and Percy Dovetonsils.

nairobi trio

percy d

Questions:

11 – Who were Tantor and N’kima?
12 – Who was Little Iodine’s father, and who did he work for?
13 – To become as small as her dog Sniffles, Mary Jane called upon “the magic words of ___.”
14 – What was the name of Sky King’s airplane?
15 – How did Commando Cody get around?

Answers:

11 – Tarzan’s favorite elephant and monkey.
12 – Her father was Henry Tremblechin, and he worked for Mr. Bigdome.
13 – “Poof Poof Piffles.”
14 – The Songbird.
15 – Via his rocket-powered flying suit.

commando cody

Questions:

16 – What was Superman’s name on the planet Krypton?
17 – Who were Knobby Walsh and Ann Howe?
18 – Who were Bullet and Buttermilk?
19 – Who was Wild Bill Hickok’s sidekick on TV?
20 – Who used the exclamation “Kowabunga!” on the Howdy Doody Show?

Answers:

16 – Kal-El, son of Jor-El.
17 – The boxing manager and the girlfriend of Joe Palooka.
18 – Roy Rogers’ dog and Dale Evans’ horse.
19 – Jingles P. Jones, played by Andy Devine.
20 – Chief Thunderthud.

chief thunderthud

———

Kowabunga, dudes.

 

 

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This Just In

BEIJING, CHINA — The 2018 Disney movie “Christopher Robin” has been banned in China, reportedly because President Xi Jinping is sensitive about his resemblance to Winnie the Pooh.

The ban follows a series of recent restrictions that block most references to Winnie the Pooh on Chinese social media. China’s internet filtering and censorship system is one of the most restrictive in the world.

Because Xi is sensitive about his perceived resemblance to Pooh, dissidents and critics bring it up at every opportunity. Winnie the Pooh coffee mugs have become popular, and side-by-side photos of Xi and Pooh appear regularly.

xi-pooh

BELLEVILLE, ILLINOIS — A team of firefighters rescued a Belleville man last month who became stuck in quicksand while pursuing his pet parrot.

The rescue took place at a city park after visitors reported the man calling for help.

A lake at the park was being dredged, and the mud became liquefied, forming the quicksand. Firefighters extended ladders across the mud and hauled the man to safety.

Ironically, the parrot returned and perched on the man’s shoulder during the rescue.

No injuries were reported to man, bird, or firefighters.

parrot rescue

KRATIÉ, CAMBODIA — Khim Hang, a 74-year-old widow, shares her home with a five-month-old calf she believes is a reincarnation of her husband Tol Khut, who died a year ago.

“I believe that the calf is my husband because whatever he does … is in exactly the same way as my husband did when he was alive,” she said.

The calf enters the woman’s home freely, where it is fed, washed, and put to bed on a pillow once used by Tol Khut.

The calf was born in March and has become a Cambodian social media sensation with a strong following on Facebook. As many as 100 people a day visit Khim Hang’s house to see the calf.

reincarnation

 

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anti-theft

Print

tacos

redundancy

 

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Old-young

blank

Former

Kessel run

 

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