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Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

This Just In

WELLINGTON, NEW ZEALAND — A man who was lost at sea after being knocked overboard in rough seas saved himself by using his trousers as a flotation device.

German brothers Arne and Helge Murke were delivering a yacht from New Zealand to Brazil when the boom unexpectedly swung and knocked Arne into the water. High winds prevented Helge from maneuvering the boat to reach his brother, and the current carried Arne out of sight.

Arne took off his trousers, made knots at the ends of the legs, and trapped air inside, creating an improvised life vest. A rescue helicopter located him about three hours after he was knocked overboard. He was unharmed.

Luckily, I knew the trick with the jeans,” he told the New Zealand Herald. “Without the jeans, I wouldn’t be here today.”

Life jacket

SAN JUAN, PUERTO RICO — A Delta Air Lines flight from San Juan to New York was forced to return to the airport after an unruly passenger ran down the aisle shouting “I am God!”

Delta officials said the 30-year-old man was aggressive and tried to enter the cockpit. He claimed he was God and said San Juan was going to disappear the following day.

“I came to save the world!” he shouted. “I am going to end terrorism!”

The man was restrained by flight attendants and passengers. The case was turned over the U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation, and the flight continued after a two-hour delay.

Flight Disturbance

DEERFIELD BEACH, FLORIDA — Members of a Broward County family were awakened at 4:00 AM by a loud thud when something landed on the roof of their house. When they investigated, they found 15 pounds of frozen ham, pork chops, and Italian sausage.

The meat was wrapped in five packages. Two were found in the yard, and three were on the roof. The packages were addressed to William Land Service in Sarasota.

“I called them,” the homeowner said, “and the guy had no idea what I was talking about and probably thought I was crazy.”

No explanation of the incident has surfaced.

ODD Meat From The Sky

 

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I'm Not

Treble

Putin-Trump

Reel

 

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This Just In

NAIROBI, KENYA — In April, the officers on duty at a police post in western Kenya locked up the station and went in search of a place to watch the European soccer championships on television.

They took radios with them to receive emergency calls and ended up at a shopping mall, where they watched two quarter-final matches.

When they returned to the station, they discovered that thieves had broken in and stolen three rifles and several boxes of ammunition. Disciplinary action is pending.

Kenyan police

PHNOM PENH, CAMBODIA — As the growing season began in Southeast Asia, Cambodia’s two royal oxen predicted a plentiful harvest.

In an annual ritual presided over by King Norodom Sihamoni, the royal oxen, dressed in ornate robes and headdresses, plowed a field and then were given offerings in ceremonial bowls.

A Hindu priest said the oxen ate 85 percent of the rice and beans and 90 percent of the corn offered to them, indicating that a bountiful harvest will ensue.

Royal oxen

SHANGHAI, CHINA — A China Southern Airlines flight departing Shanghai was delayed five hours after one of the passengers threw coins into the air intake duct of one of the engines.

As the passengers boarded, an 80-year-old woman tossed a handful of coins at one of the engines, which was not running. The woman told police she threw the coins as a prayerful gesture for a safe flight.

The passengers disembarked while the ground crew inspected the engine and retrieved the coins.

Police later said the woman, who was traveling with family members, had no criminal record or known mental health issues. The airline hasn’t decided whether to file charges.

Coins

 

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Dinosaur

Pro-now

Shoot people

My state

 

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Last week in the Jefferson Kroger, I was met by a curious sight: approaching me in the aisle was a woman pushing a grocery cart in which was seated a toddler, a boy, who had both arms in the air and was bobbing his head rhythmically.

The sight became curiouser when the child burst into song.

We will
We will
WOCK YOU!

His head bobbed to the beat. He pumped his upraised fists in time to the music playing in his head.

Frankly, he looked barely old enough to talk, much less sing rock songs. But there he was, belting out a tune nicely on key.

A pause of several seconds followed, then

We will
We will
WOCK YOU!

A pause of several seconds followed, then

We will
We will
WOCK YOU!

By then, our carts had passed in the aisle, and they were behind me. Even after I turned down the next aisle, I could still hear the boy singing heartily.

We will
We will
WOCK YOU!

A pause of several seconds followed, then

We will
We will
WOCK YOU!

Eventually, the refrain ceased. Either he was too far away to be heard or his mom shut him up.

Oddly, the mom seemed focused on her shopping and oblivious to the boy’s performance. I wondered briefly if she might be hearing-impaired, but decided that was improbable.

Anyway, the child was truly in the zone, and I was happy for him. It’s good to, you know, let it all hang out.

Keep on rockin’ while you can, kid. The inhibitions, insecurity, and self-consciousness will bubble up soon enough.

We Will Wock You

Wocking the Jefferson Kroger.

The Queen classic We Will Rock You is an interesting song for various reasons, which I will address in my next post, a Tune o’ the Day.

 

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Meteor

Follow

Hate

Testing

 

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Melons

Guess

Scooby

Toyoda

 

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