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Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

EAST PALESTINE, OHIO — While his parents slept, an eight-year-old boy learned to drive a car by watching an online video, then took the family van to a nearby McDonald’s to get a cheeseburger.

Police said the boy got a hankering for a cheeseburger at about 8 PM, after both parents had fallen asleep. The boy watched an instructional video on YouTube, put his four-year-old sister in his father’s van, and drove almost two miles through several intersections to the drive-through window at a McDonald’s.

When the boy ordered two cheeseburgers, the employees at first thought they were being pranked, assuming the parents were in the back seat. When they realized the children were alone, they quickly called police.

The boy broke down in tears, but he and his sister were allowed to eat their cheeseburgers while waiting to be picked up.

Tutorial

CLEVELAND, OHIO — Cleveland police say an attempted carjacking by two teenagers failed because neither carjacker could operate a stick shift, even with coaching from the victim.

Police said the perpetrators, ages 18 and 17, had committed two armed carjackings successfully, but were foiled because the third vehicle had a manual transmission.

The older teen pointed a gun at the victim and ordered him to explain how to shift gears. The driver complied, but eventually, the teens gave up. They ran away, taking the driver’s cellphone with them.

Police promptly traced the cellphone and arrested them.

Stick shift

TUCSON, ARIZONA — A man prowling around a Tucson elementary school ended up hanging from a gate, upside-down and helpless, when he tried to flee.

According to police, the man was spotted on the fenced campus of Miles Elementary School by a locksmith. School was not in session at the time.

When confronted, the intruder ran, slipped while climbing over a locked gate, and was trapped by his own pants.

Tucson police freed the man and took him into custody.

Trapped

 

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No-Fly list

Bridge

Roll me over

Don't look

 

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Presented as a public service by the management of this blog.

————

# 1 – Advice for Men

GIFTS NOT APPROPRIATE FOR THE WOMAN IN YOUR LIFE:

– Cleaning supplies or any item designed to make housework easier.

– Anti-wrinkle cream.

– Sleepwear that depicts a cartoon character or superhero, is made of flannel, or has a trap door in the back.

– Anything from an infomercial.

– Perfume that was such a bargain, you couldn’t pass it up.

– A gift certificate to Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig.

– Cubic zirconia jewelry from the Home Shopping Network.

– Any other product from the Home Shopping Network.

– A gift that, by any stretch of the imagination, would be of the slightest use to you.

– Clothing. Don’t even try.

HSN

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Baby on board

Kardashians

For the cah

You can dance

 

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More random photos I’ve taken over the years that still make me smile.

hobbitt-house

street-art

lola

co-op

angry-sarah

 

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This Just In

LEESBURG, GEORGIA — A Leesburg man shot and killed an armadillo outside his trailer recently and simultaneously wounded his mother-in-law.

Police said the man used a 9mm pistol to shoot the armadillo. The bullet ricocheted, hit a fence, went through the door of his mother-in-law’s trailer, and struck her in the back as she sat in a recliner. She was taken to a hospital, treated for minor injuries, and released.

A police spokesman subsequently advised citizens to use a shotgun instead of a pistol when they “shoot at varmints and whatnot.”

armadillo

DODOMA, TANZANIA — The Nature Conservancy has devised a way for rural Tanzanian villagers to protect their homes and crops from elephants without harming the animals: throwing condoms filled with chili powder.

The organization advises the villagers to try chasing away the elephant by shining a flashlight and sounding a horn. If that fails, they should use a “chili cloud” device that is made in advance.

The device is made by filling a condom with a mixture of chili powder and soil. A firecracker is inserted, and the end of the condom is twisted shut with the fuse exposed.

The fuse is lit, and the condom is thrown at the elephant. When the firecracker detonates, the explosion sends a fine dust of chili powder into the air.

One whiff usually sends the pachyderm packing.

chili-powder-condom

FLORIANAPOLIS, BRAZIL — A Brazilian grandmother has been informed that the religious icon to which she was praying daily does not depict San Antonio de Padua, the patron saint of the poor, but actually is Elrond from The Lord of the Rings.

The woman’s granddaughter said she thought the clothing on the three-inch-tall figurine was unusual for a saint. When she researched the “icon” online, she discovered that the figure is a plastic toy of Elrond, the 6,000-year-old, half-elven Lord of Rivendell.

No report on the grandmother’s reaction.

elrond

 

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driving

nose-art

cool

sexy

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