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BERLIN, GERMANY — German police are investigating a kabob vendor’s hot sauce to determine whether it is capable of causing grievous bodily harm when used in an attack.

Police took a sample of the sauce from a kabob stand in Bremen’s central train station after a kabob salesman threw it into the eyes of a customer during a fight over napkins.

“Legally, the question of whether the spiciness of the kabob sauce constituted ‘normal’ or ‘grievous’ bodily harm must be addressed,” said a police spokesman.

Officers broke up a scuffle that ensued after a 23-year-old man wiped his messy hands on the stand because the vendor refused to give him a napkin. The vendor responded by flinging a ladle of hot sauce in the man’s face.

AYER, MASSACHUSETTS — Police said an 18-year-old man faces a charge of disorderly conduct for donning a mask like in the movie “V for Vendetta” to terrorize residents of the towns of Ayer and Groton.

The “V” sightings came after a group of teenagers began wearing the masks to scare each another. One teen got carried away and began peering into residents’ windows.

Police said the suspect was not arrested, but will face charges for scaring and alarming his neighbors.

SAGINAW, MICHIGAN — Victor Harris was pouring a fuel additive into his Lincoln Navigator at a 7-Eleven store, when a piece of paper fell into the gas tank.

Harris tried to fish the paper out with his index finger, but his finger became stuck in the gas tank opening.

Other patrons summoned Saginaw firefighters, who tried unsuccessfully to free the finger.

Finally, after four hours, crews cut off a four-foot section of the gas pipe and took Harris to nearby St. Mary’s Hospital. Medics there pried his finger from the pipe and gave him two stitches.

Coincidentally, Harris is an employee of St. Mary’s Hospital.