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Quotes o’ the Day

Despair is anger with nowhere to go.

Mignon McLaughlin

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Is there a religion today that would not benefit from calling home its missionaries and setting them to work among its hypocrites?

Robert Brault

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A skeptic doubts the best authority; an enthusiast is likely to accept the poorest.

James Lendall Basford

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All the Negro asks is that the door which rewards industry, thrift, intelligence, and character be left as wide open to him as for the foreigner who constantly comes to our country. More than this he has no right to request. Less than this a republic has no right to withhold.

Booker T. Washington

McLaughlin

Washington

Of the numerous ways we humans have botched our stewardship of the planet, it’s fair to say that the most egregious is our failure to address the global warming crisis. The Greenhouse Effect will turn the Earth into another Venus, but — oh, well.

Another of our monumental disappointments, although not at such a hair-on-fire level, is our use, overuse, and misuse of plastics.

Plastic is, literally, both a blessing and a curse. It proved to be adaptable, useful, and cheap, so we embraced it without reservation or caution. Now we are drowning in it.

Let me start with a definition. A polymer is a strong, elastic material consisting of long chains of molecules. It is common in nature; the cell walls of plants are made of cellulose, a natural polymer.

In 1869, American inventor John Wesley Hyatt created the first man-made polymer. He did so while seeking a $10,000 prize offered by a manufacturer of billiard balls. To its credit, the company wanted to find an alternative to elephant ivory.

Specifically, Hyatt treated cotton fiber (cellulose) with camphor. The result was celluloid, a partially synthetic polymer that could be molded into various shapes before it hardened. The substance was, in other words, formative. Plastic.

Hyatt’s discovery was groundbreaking. It provided an abundant new material to use in place of wood, stone, metal, etc. Although cellulose was only partly synthetic, the idea was celebrated as a way to preserve natural resources.

The first fully synthetic plastic, Bakelite, was created in 1907 by Leo Baekeland, a Belgian chemist. Bakelite contained no natural molecules. It was durable, heat-resistant, easily moldable, and ideal for mass production. The plastics revolution was underway.

Worldwide, the chemical industry invested heavily in developing more and better types of plastic. By World War II, the US military had switched from glass and silk to acrylic and nylon.

The production of plastics in the US tripled. Plastic soon replaced steel in cars, paper in packaging, and wood in everything. Plastic was a miracle — cheap, safe, and sanitary.

But soon enough, reality intervened. Plastic doesn’t conveniently biodegrade and disappear as do most natural materials. Plastic just piles up.

As early as the 1960s, an alarming amount of plastic waste was polluting waterways and accumulating in landfills.

Although we humans have acknowledged the problem, we have not dealt with it even remotely well. That’s no surprise, because plastics are crucial and profitable to business, industry, and government.

Accordingly, other than rolling out feel-good efforts at recycling, we have done little to rethink the production of plastics or to mitigate the waste problem.

Some relevant statistics…

A few years ago, a study by several universities found that, by 2015, humans had generated 8.3 billion metric tons of plastic.

For perspective, 8.3 billion metric tons is equal to the weight of 822,000 Eiffel Towers, 80 million blue whales, or one billion elephants.

Of that 8.3 billion metric tons, 6.3 billion has been discarded as waste.

Greenpeace says we have recycled roughly five percent of our plastic waste. About 79 percent is sitting in landfills.

Every year, Americans discard 35 billion plastic bags and pieces of plastic packaging.

According to the EPA, we recycle a mere 10 percent of the plastic bags we use.

Every year, an additional eight million metric tons of plastic waste finds its way into the oceans.

Since 1988, scientists have been aware of several massive and growing garbage patches in the oceans of the world. For the most part, the patches are comprised of bits of microplastics, plus pieces of larger plastic items — pens, toothbrushes, plastic bags — that are slowly fragmenting into microplastics.

The largest of the patches, the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, covers about 620,000 square miles. Some of the plastic floats on the surface in island-like clumps, but a far greater volume is suspended underwater, out of sight.

Why is the plastics crisis essentially in limbo and not being addressed intelligently? For the same reason the global warming crisis isn’t being solved: too many entities, primarily corporations and governments, profit from the status quo.

What to do? How should shrewd, enterprising, forward-thinkers — people with connections and resources — approach the problem of plastics?

For starters, they should take advantage of plastic’s pesky longevity. Find ways to use it to construct things that we want to last — highways, runways, sidewalks. Homes, schools, office buildings.

In addition, they should look for solutions that (a) make more sense than using plastics and (b) yield better profits.

In that regard, the British startup Pulpex may be onto something promising.

Recently, the UK alcoholic beverage company Diageo (Guinness, Johnnie Walter, Smirnoff) founded Pulpex, a “sustainable packaging” company that has developed a container made of wood pulp.

The Pulpex container is a bottle made of paper. As such, it is biodegradable and easily recyclable after use. Assuming the manufacturing costs are suitably low, that makes it a potential replacement for plastic and glass.

Pulpex pressure-forms wood pulp into bottles of the desired size and shape, then seals the interior with a food-grade coating. Reportedly, Pulpex bottles are made of renewably-sourced wood and can be any shape, size, or color.

Among the first commercial products to be rolled out in Pulpex containers are Diageo’s own Johnnie Walker Black Label, Heinz Ketchup, and Castrol Motor Oil.

The Pulpex model is a simple and smart idea — a positive step.

On the other hand, it doesn’t address the 6.3 billion metric tons of plastic waste our species already has discarded.

Which, for perspective, is equal to the weight of 661,500 Eiffel Towers, 60 million blue whales, or 750 million elephants.

Tune o’ the Day

The 1991 song “Wind of Change” by The Scorpions is a beautiful ballad, which is unusual for a heavy metal band. It celebrates the collapse of the Soviet Union and new hope for a peaceful future.

The depressing fact that Glasnost and perestroika fizzled out, that very little changed, makes the song ironic and sad, but no less compelling.

The Scorpions, a German band from Hanover that formed in 1965, is still active today. They have sold an amazing 100 million albums worldwide.

Lead singer Klaus Meine (who also provides the song’s excellent whistling) was inspired to write “Wind of Change” after the band performed at the 1989 Moscow Music Peace Festival, to the cheers of 300,000 Russian fans. Hopeful times, indeed.

Recently, due to Putin’s war on Ukraine, the band changed the song’s opening lyrics. The original was “I follow the Moskva [Moscow River] down to Gorky Park, listening to the wind of change.” The opening today is “Now listen to my heart. It says ‘Ukraine,’ waiting for the wind to change.”

Wind of Change

By The Scorpions, 1991
Written by Klaus Meine

I follow the Moskva
Down to Gorky Park,
Listening to the wind of change.
An August summer night,
Soldiers passing by,
Listening to the wind of change.

The world is closing in,
And did you ever think
That we could be so close,
Like brothers?
The future’s in the air.
I can feel it everywhere.
I’m blowing with the wind of change.

Take me
To the magic of the moment
On a glory night,
Where the children of tomorrow
Dream away
In the wind of change.

Walking down the street,
And distant memories
Are buried in the past, forever.
I follow the Moskva
Down to Gorky Park,
Listening to the wind of change.

Take me
To the magic of the moment
On a glory night,
Where the children of tomorrow
Share their dreams
With you and me.

Take me
To the magic of the moment
On a glory night,
Where the children of tomorrow
Dream away
In the wind of change.

The wind of change blows straight
Into that face of time,
Like a storm wind that will ring
The freedom bell for peace of mind.
Let your balalaika sing
What my guitar wants to say.

Take me
To the magic of the moment
On a glory night,
Where the children of tomorrow
Share their dreams
With you and me.

Take me
To the magic of the moment
On a glory night,
Where the children of tomorrow
Dream away
In the wind of change.

https://rockysmith.files.wordpress.com/2023/03/wind-of-change.mp3

Well, this is a fine mess.

Over the last year, several of my preferred toiletry items have disappeared from the market. These were products I used regularly and counted on, and now they aren’t available anymore. Which leaves me with the unwelcome hassle of finding replacements.

Yes, I’m aware that products get axed all the time. The suits up at Corporate do it for “business reasons.” Maybe sales are down. Maybe the suits want to shake up the market with something new.

Whatever the reason, I am displeased, and I want to vent.

1 — my aftershave

A while back, Burt’s Bees® Natural Skin Care for Men Aftershave, which I had used for years, was replaced on store shelves by Burt’s Bees® Soothing Moisturizer+ Aftershave.

The thing is, I LIKED the old Burt’s Bees® aftershave. I found it pleasing to the nose, gentle to the skin. And, wouldn’t you know it, the replacement is bloody awful. The fragrance isn’t just different, it’s unpleasant. I used it one time and threw the tube in the trash.

2 — my shave cream

Also gone is Burt’s Bees® Natural Skin Care for Men Shave Cream. It was replaced by Burt’s Bees® Cooling Shave Cream with Aloe & Hemp Seed Oil.

Is the new shave cream, like the new aftershave, bloody awful? I don’t intend to find out.

Burt’s Bees® really whiffed the ball on this one. And it isn’t just me. The online chatter has been brutal in bad-mouthing the new versions and asking Burt’s Bees® to bring back the Natural product line.

For that to happen, the suits at Burt’s Bees® would have to admit they screwed up. Not very likely.

Meanwhile, tubes of the now-defunct, now-scarce Natural versions (which retailed for about $7.99) are selling online for $25 to $45 each.

I can only hope that heads will roll at Burt’s Bees®.

3 — my toothpaste

In addition to my beef with Burt’s Bees®, I have a bone to pick with Crest® Toothpaste. For years, my toothpaste was Crest® Complete Multi-Benefit Herbal Mint Fluoride Toothpaste. I found the herbal mint flavor to be pleasant and refreshing. Nice and minty.

But Crest® chose to cease production of the herbal mint variety. When I realized it wasn’t being restocked, I grabbed what few remaining boxes I could find. Now, alas, I am down to one unopened tube.

That means I’ll either have to start sampling the god-knows-how-many other Crest® varieties…

… or tell Crest® to go scratch and look elsewhere.

4 – my underarm deodorant

My final gripe re the sudden unavailability of my toiletries is about my deodorant. This was especially distressing, because one’s body becomes accustomed to the chemistry of one’s deodorant. Changing to a new type can be a problem.

But then I discovered that the suits had pulled a bait-and-switch, and my product was, in fact, still available. Let me explain.

My preference for a long time has been Mennen® Speed Stick® Fresh Deodorant. (A deodorant, not an antiperspirant; I don’t do antiperspirants.)

This is my preferred Mennen® Speed Stick® Fresh Deodorant:

Exhibit A, Speed Stick® Fresh

Sometime last year, I made a routine purchase of the product below, having been tricked by the similar label design and color:

Exhibit B, Speed Stick® Regular

To my alarm, the product I purchased (Exhibit B), although very close in appearance to my preferred product (Exhibit A), was a different product with a different fragrance.

Apparently, the sticker “New Look — Same Great Deodorant” refers to another Mennen® Speed Stick® deodorant that they neglect to identify.

It took a bit of sleuthing, but I finally figured out what Mennen® had done. The original Speed Stick® Fresh Deodorant (Exhibit A) is still on the market, but it was given deceptive new labeling. This labeling:

Exhibit C, the new Speed Stick® Fresh

The new Kelly green version of Speed Stick® Fresh (Exhibit C) is, to my relief, identical to the previous blueish-greenish-teal version (Exhibit A) on which I have depended for so long. My deodorant was concealed, not discontinued, so all is well.

But if the suits do away with the current green version of Speed Stick® Fresh (Exhibit C), I can’t be responsible for my actions.

Useless Facts

More “Useless Facts for Inquiring Minds.”

● 94 percent of the organisms on Earth live underwater.

● Lincoln was the tallest president at 6’4”. Lyndon Johnson was 6’3”. Jefferson was 6’2½”, as is Clinton.

● The first televised athletic event in the US was a baseball game between Columbia and Princeton on May 17, 1939.

● The Basset Hound was bred in France in the 1500s as a hunting dog that could be followed on foot. This was a boon to the common folk, inasmuch as hunting from horseback was a pastime of the rich. Typically, Bassets hunted small game such as rabbits, foxes, and badgers. In French, the word basset means low or short.

● The concept of infinity has been understood since ancient times, but not until the 17th century did someone — English mathematician John Wallis — come up with the infinity symbol, ∞.

● Botanically, all varieties of the pepper plant — bell, pimiento, jalapeño, habanero, chipotle, cayenne, etc. — are fruits.

● Among the animals that mate for life are gibbons, wolves, coyotes, beavers, swans, bald eagles, ospreys, black vultures, barn owls, and pigeons.

● The invoice price of a Model T Ford when it was introduced in 1909 was $825.00.

The Questions…

1. How many humans have walked on the Moon?

2. Most US colleges and universities recognize top academic achievement with three levels of honors: cum laude (top 20-30 percent of graduates), magna cum laude (top 5-15 percent), and summa cum laude (top 1-5 percent). What do the three Latin terms mean in English?

3. How long ago is “four score and seven years” ago?

4. What are the singular forms of the words spaghetti, ravioli, and confetti?

5. Why is the Golden Gate Bridge so named?

The Answers…

1. 12 American astronauts have walked on the Moon. Namely, Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Pete Conrad, Alan Bean, Alan Shepard, Ed Mitchell, David Scott, James Irwin, John Young, Charles Duke, Gene Cernan, and Harrison Schmitt.

2. Cum laude means “with praise.” Magna cum laude means “with great praise.” Summa cum laude means “with highest praise.”

3. 87 years, a score being 20 years. Lincoln began his Gettysburg Address with that phrase in 1863, referring to the signing of the Declaration of Independence in 1776.

4. Spaghetto, raviolo, and confetto, of course.

5. The bridge is so named because it spans the Golden Gate Strait, where San Francisco Bay meets the Pacific Ocean.

A Sibling Thing

In 1953, when I was a preteen, the Boston Braves moved to Milwaukee, and my younger brother Lee and I became big fans of the team. We knew the entire roster in detail and of course had our favorite players. My hero was young right-fielder Hank Aaron. Lee’s idol was slugging third baseman Eddie Mathews.

Lee Smith, Eddie Mathews fan.

In those days, Milwaukee’s ace pitcher was the great lefty Warren Spahn, and at some point, Lee acquired a small hard plastic figurine of Spahn. It was like a G.I. Joe action figure, minus the bendable limbs. Eight inches tall, well molded, neatly painted, durable.

And, if you aren’t too picky, it can be said to bear some resemblance to Warren Spahn.

The Spahn figurine took its place among the toys in the Smith household and was around for years. My sister Betty remembers Warren well. She frequently included him when she had tea parties with her dolls.

Time passed, and we kids grew up. We went out into the world. started careers, got married.

One day, probably when I was in my mid-20s, I got in my car and found the Spahn figurine propped up on the steering wheel. No note, no explanation. Lee never mentioned it. Nor did I.

But some months later, I managed to sneak the figurine into Lee’s house and left it in a kitchen cabinet. Again, neither of us spoke of it.

But it was the beginning of a decades-long ritual in which the figurine quietly changed possession 10 or 15 times, maybe more.

The unspoken goal was to return Warren when enough time had passed — a few months, a year or two — so that your brother had forgotten about it and would not expect it. And still, neither of us spoke of the matter.

I last left Warren at Lee’s house about a decade ago, and I hadn’t thought about it in quite some time. So, when a large package arrived from Lee a few days before my birthday in January, I suspected nothing.

I was totally blindsided when I opened the package and found the Spahn figurine inside multiple boxes and layers of Styrofoam. I did not see it coming.

In truth, I was delighted to see Warren again — so much so that I broke tradition and texted Lee about it. I admitted that he got me good, which pleased him greatly.

The next day, I had a haircut appointment, and I told my stylist the story of the Warren Spahn figurine. “That thing is probably collectible,” she said. “Have you checked online?”

Wow. That should have occurred to me, but never had. So, I took a photo of Warren and did a Google image search.

And I was introduced to the world of figurines manufactured decades ago by Hartland Plastics, Inc. of Hartland, Wisconsin.

Starting in 1939, Hartland Plastics produced a stream of action figures — baseball players, football players, historical figures (General Custer, Wyatt Earp), and characters from TV westerns (Roy Rogers, Dale Evans, Matt Dillon).

Here are some of the Hartland baseball figures:

The figurines sold well and quickly became collectible. When Hartland ceased operations in 1978, they became even more in demand.

Today, as far as value is concerned, the figurines don’t exactly rank up there with Fabergé eggs. Most Hartlands are worth $50 to $400, depending on scarcity, popularity, whether the packaging survived, and so on.

The highest price I saw was $1,500 for an uncirculated figurine of Pirates shortstop Dick Groat with original packaging.

But prices and Dick Groat be damned. The real question was, did Hartland manufacture an Eddie Mathews figurine?

Yes. Yes, they did. And I purchased one immediately on eBay.

While I was waiting for Eddie to arrive, I telephoned Lee and casually asked if Warren had been his only figurine. “Did you have others?” I asked. “An Eddie Mathews maybe?”

“I wish,” he said.

Days later, Eddie arrived. This is the figurine.

If you aren’t too picky, it can be said to bear some resemblance to Eddie Mathews.

I took a few photos of Eddie, repackaged him, and mailed him to Lee.

Lee called, and he was highly emotional. Beyond elated. He was uncharacteristically animated and thanked me repeatedly.

So, Lee was majorly pleased, and I had the satisfaction of surprising him. Under the circumstances, I guess the Warren Spahn figurine is permanently mine.

For now.

Poems That Don’t Suck

BLK History Month

By Nikki Giovanni

If Black History Month is not
viable then wind does not
carry the seeds and drop them
on fertile ground
rain does not
dampen the land
and encourage the seeds
to root
sun does not
warm the earth
and kiss the seedlings
and tell them plain:
You’re As Good As Anybody Else
You’ve Got A Place Here, Too

Yolande Cornelia Giavanni, Jr. (B. 1943)

———

Time Is

By Henry van Dyke

Henry Jackson van Dyke (1852-1933)

Time is
Too Slow for those who Wait,
Too Swift for those who Fear,
Too Long for those who Grieve,
Too Short for those who Rejoice;
But for those who Love,
Time is not.

———

Oh Could I Raise the Darken’d Veil

By Nathaniel Hawthorne

Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804-1864)

Oh could I raise the darken’d veil,
Which hides my future life from me,
Could unborn ages slowly sail,
Before my view—and could I see
My every action painted there,
To cast one look I would not dare.
There poverty and grief might stand,
And dark Despair’s corroding hand,
Would make me seek the lonely tomb
To slumber in its endless gloom.
Then let me never cast a look,
Within Fate’s fix’d mysterious book.

———

Lines on Ale

By Edgar Allan Poe

Edgar Allan Poe (1809-1849)

Filled with mingled cream and amber,
I will drain that glass again.
Such hilarious visions clamber
Through the chamber of my brain.
Quaintest thoughts, queerest fancies
Come to life and fade away.
What care I how time advances;
I am drinking ale today.

———

Pastoral

By William Carlos Williams

William Carlos Williams (1883-1963)

The little sparrows
hop ingenuously
about the pavement
quarreling
with sharp voices
over those things
that interest them.
But we who are wiser
shut ourselves in
on either hand
and no one knows
whether we think good
or evil.
Meanwhile,
the old man who goes about
gathering dog-lime
walks in the gutter
without looking up
and his tread
is more majestic than
that of the Episcopal minister
approaching the pulpit
of a Sunday.
These things
astonish me beyond words.

Pix o’ the Day

More favorite photos I’ve taken over the years.